Entropy Time
Episode 1 We don't like you! F*** you! F*** you! We can't stand you! F*** you! F*** you! Get out of my face or I will SH*T ON YOUR MOM!'' - Sex mime, "Generic Punk Song" (Un)Welcome everybody to Entropy Time! ' So... What are you expectin' pals? To learn the story of (I'm no) Lady Adhil and the Marauders of Planet L.S.B.1 (Planet O in short) - piratess from outer space? F*** you! I'll tell you since I want that +1 gameplan! Got it? I don't care! I'm no stupid singer! I don't care at all! I have better things to do! Ya know? I want to put my hands on that... Aedilred guy and crush his neck! Break it! Bash hi' hard! That Dyrac is always messing up with drinks and potions... cursed dark elf! But lemme tell ya... Meredith is still chasing that stupid ghost... so I have some time! We are marauders - we travel to rob and search hot gals! That Valkyries was gourgeous and we wanted them... but we crashed on this stupid planet! And we discovered that the ladies disbanded! Why? Because that stupid Leriel is an a**hole! Mad man, ya know? So crazy and so angry that Doc and Triple-S did tear him in pieces... and he became a ghost! Well, we wanted the ladies - we wanted to steal them! We are marauders, not sissy! But we crashed and cannot escape... and that Crow is worst than a space mastiff! We needed another way... So we spoke with Mer' and decided to play Blood Bowl and get them as cheerleaders! We will get money and we'll kick some b**t! Man, this's a crazy dream! Doc agreed to join us since Triple-S disbanded - well, looks like they enjoyed killing Leriel too much... And here we are - we already seized Möbius, Dyrac and Octahe... Octam... well, Oct-''something from the planet of the MAD MATHEMATHICIANS and we are ready to rumble! YEAH! And lemme tell ya: WE'LL GET THAT LERIEL GHOST AND KICK IT HARD! Trying to kill DV... ya know? It's a piece of S**T! Damn, Mer' here... see ya pals! Follow us or I'LL BURN YOUR GitP COMIC BOOKS! Planet O, planet O, '' ''Planet O, planet O We are pirates from the planet O. We'll enslave you. We will break your soul. We will chain you, make you fall and bow. We'll defile, satisfy you. '' ''Please don't touch me. Don't come near me. We will rock you. We will shock you. Please don't touch me. Don't come near me. Please don't touch me. Don't you hear me? I'm a lady, just a baby. What's a lady? What's a baby? Call me lazy. Call me crazy. I don't want to Torna a planet O... '' ''No, no, no, no, don't touch me. No, no, no, don't come near me. We'll surprise, scandalize you. We'll surprise, vandalize you. Mercy, mercy. Help me, help me. Call my Momma, call the USO. Planet O, planet O. Planet O, planet O. We will break you, desecrate your soul. We will shake you, overtake you. Please don't touch me, touch me, touch me. Don't come near me, near me, near me. Hypnotize you. Neutralize you. Crazed it made me, serenade me. Wake me, take me... to the planet O... We are pirates from the planet O. We have come to capture you. Please come peacefully. We will tie you, sacrifice you. Tie me, tie me. Halleluja. Catch me. Take me... to the planet O... Episode 2 Uhm... this is the address... "Meredith Gray(Tail), c/o Beyond Entropy"... "Hello? Miss Graytail?" "That's me! Come in... You are the pizza boy, aren't you?" "Sure Miss Gr-" "Please, call me Meredith!" "Sure... Meredith! I'm Toby... the Pizza Delivery Dark Elf Boy from "Pizza Pazza Takeaway!"..." "Nice to meet you, Toby!" "Let me check if there's everything... One "Teseo-in-the-maze" pizza, a Super-Mouse-Cheese, two "Warpy Meals" with warpstone, one salad à-la-Roxanne, seven extra spicy "put-hot-stuff-only-here!" pizzas, an "happy surgeon" one... and finally some smelly fishes..." "Right! They are for Schrödinger... the cat of Dyrac, you know?" "Uh?" "Come with me... you deserve a tip... follow me!" "Thank you miss! That's 1,013 gold pieces..." "WHAT?!?!" "Pizzas are 1 gp each... but hiring some priests to protect me from the ugly ghost outside costs 1,000 pieces... you know, my life insurance dosn't cover it..." "Well... maybe we should hire you as assistant coach... I'll think about it... now bring the fish and the salad to Dyrac, ok? It's at the end of the corridor... Leave the other pizzas here! I'm hungry!" "Mr. Dyrac?" "Leave me alone!" "...I have your salad!" "OH! Come here! What are you waiting for, boy?" "But there is a scaring beast here at the door!" "Oh, it's the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal... Adhil put it here to prevent me going out... Silly girl... Do you see the towel? Drape it over your head and go ahead. The beast is really stupid... it thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you." "..." "Ok, you are in - you can take off the towel!" "WOW! Is this your lab, Mr. Dyrac?" "Mr. Delta Dyrac... but call me just Dyrac. Put the salad there and give me the fishes... Schrödinger? Come here! You know, he likes to hide in the box... but is soooo dangerous for him! I cannot be sure that he's alive, when he's inside... and I cannot check!" "UH? And... What does he have on his back?" "It's a bread-slice quick-removal system. Project by Möbius - we work together, you know? It's useful when I need to put some buttered bread slices on his back..." "?????" "Don't they teach it at school? The buttered cat engine... is not working at zero-G... really a pity!" "?????????????????????????????" "Cats always land on their feet. And buttered bread slices always land buttered-side down. Drop the cat... and he'll start rotating forever... but it's not working in space!" "OHHHHHHHHHH! I get it!" "Take a seat... You're a smart boy!" "Thanks! Can I have something to drink?" "WAIT! See that cans? They are all from Red Sabres... I drank from one of these and I got mad... We lost the match..." "What a pity! But you're a scientist... why do you play Blood Bowl?" "I need money for my experiments... and Adhil is mad with this BB thing... so I'm creating some potions to provide us mutations... I think that I'll grow an extra arm for next match." "COOL!" "This salad is SUPER! But I don't have time to finish it..." "May I..?" "Smart boy! Now let me go on with the resublimated thiotimoline..." "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Hire me! I love this place!" Episode 3 "Hi Meredith!" "Hi Toby! Leave the pizzas there... I have your new contract! You have to sign it!" "WOW! So I'll be part of your staff?" "Sure... we need you! After two lost matches, we need some pizza to cheer up!" "I'm sorry..." "Nevermind... Can you please take this one to Möbius? He's in the MAZE..." "Uhm... Are you giving me a ball of thread?" "Oh... no, it's not a labyrinth! MAZE stands for Mathematic-only Area Zorn-lemma Enhanced..." "ZORN LEMMA?!?!" "I don't know... Möbius told me that I should search in Shakira's Waka-Waka-Pedia..." "..." "Hi Möbius!" "Hi Toby, come here!" "WOW! Is this a Omega-Box? And this... it's Final Fantasy 42 - the answer!" "42.1... patched and with all missions unlocked! Get a seat, I need you to complete the level!" "And your pizza?" "It can wait! See? It's dark..." "A dark pizza?!?! But-" Suddenly a loud noise covers Toby's voice: ''Thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder cats! THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER CATS! (Thunder catsssssssss...)'' "WHAT?" "It's the intruder alarm!" "Möbius, did you set it as alarm?" "It's my favorite show at Cabal Vision..." Everyone get out: there are eleven black creatures approching. Doc recognizes them: "They are shadow trolls! But ELEVEN?!?!" An unearthly voice replies: "ThEy'Ll CrUsH yOu! ThEy'Ll pUnIsH yOu! TwO lOsT mAtChEs... It'S a ShAmE!" "LERIEL????" Adhil screams in rage and hits one of the creatures, but her blow has little effect - and the beast (summoned by Leriel's will) hits hard her, throwing her to the ground! The three Big Guys™ charge the trolls: Doc: "RHAHRHGH!" Octahemioctacron: "DIE!!!!!!" Möbius: "<- ^ -> + X X combo!" Everybody gets silent and looks at the minotaur. Even the spectral figure of Leriel (that was laughing at the futile efforts of the marauderess) stops embarassed - a big sweatdrop on his ghostly face. Toby whispers: "I think you should stop playing with the Omega-Box..." But the desperate(?) move of the minotaur gave some time to Meredith - she summons a huge light globe, that burns the shadowy flesh of the creatures - until they disappear, followed by a screaming Leriel's ghost. "Luckily he's weaker than his former self..." says Meredith, breathing hard. Meredith goes on: "It is clear that we are facing an Evil difficult to comprehend, let alone combat. There is only one sage, schooled in the most arcane history and lore, who could advise us... " "DECKARD CAIN THE ELDER?!?" jumps up Möbius. "Nöther the algebraist..." replies Meredith, freezing him with a glance. "We need him!" Episode 4 Hello everybody! This is Toby, your favorite Pizza Delivery Dark Elf Boy... Today I'm near the training center of Hellbug's Heroes. I was able to speak shortly with Brunbob last week, and he promised me an interview... but looks like he's really busy today... What a shame! Why am I here? Well, several reasons... First, "Pizza Pazza Takeaway" boss told me that working for Beyond Entropy is not so good for promoting the takeaway... better a veteran team like Red Sabres or Hellbug's Heroes instead... And since my contract with Beyond Entropy is just part time, I still need to work for him, too. What a pity! Second, looks like that coaches of the GitP league got bored with latest issue, so Meredith decided to skip the "search for Nöther" part of the story... and so Adhil told me that she'll kick me hard if I return without something good for Entropy Time. Boys, she's pretty, but she's soooo scaring!!! And finally, Adhil ordered Möbius to give her the Omega-Box with all games. This. Is. The. Worst. Part! No, you don't understand... it's not about playing with him... can you imagine what could a minotaur do when he has issue with mathematic problems and theorems? If he works seriously, and he get angry, he's really a wild thing! Boys, no one is coming out from the gym... What could I do? I need to find a spot for a peek... "Boy, you should stop it. Now." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Rivell Mastacasta!" "Give me a reason to not crush you like cheddar cheese, boy..." "Well... I'm a would-be journalist... and... GOT IT! You worked with Lord Borak the Despoiler, weren't you?" Rivell released me from the grasp of his tentacles (being the apothecary of Chaos Teams has some drawbacks, you know...) "Good times... Lot of work for us. You know, Borak provided work for '''five of us for each match - two for his team, three for the opposite. You know? I remember a match versus an elf team... while his team knocked out the Elves one by one, the Despoiler nailed their ears to their knees. He said: Brilliant! That should keep 'em from scoring!" "Urgh..." "I still have a press clipping... Give me a second... Here it is!" Leading Chaos teams to victories for years, entertaining the masses with his creative ways of putting players in the critical list, Borak has delighted the hearts of all those who watched him play. But Borak’s achievements reach far beyond the game. His constantly flagrant rule breaking and legendary post match interviews made him the popular advertising medium for Cheaties-Cereals, host of the popular late night show "All the rage" and editor of a question and answer column for the Altdorf Crimes, where he gives his sardonic advice to the truly lost and damned. Altdorf, capitol of the Empire, is also his chosen place of living since the city council agreed to subsidize the building of his Citadel of Pain, which is now looming at the city centre, casting a cooling shadow on several asylums nearby (and sometimes a rain of arrows, when Borak’s at home). And especially here, in the Empire’s heart, Borak’s popularity is simply beyond measure. A recent opinion poll has shown that Borak has replaced Griff as the most welcome dinner guest of all people of Altdorf. If the Despoiler ever attended one is not known. But even the Emperor himself can’t elude Borak’s magnitude and had to honour his contribution to society with a public ceremony and a three hour speech, finishing with the line: "And this member of society shows that even creatures tainted by Chaos can live among our midst, embrace our philosophies and become indeed model citizens in their own right. Sigmar bless our great nation." At the same time, Borak gave a much anticipated cabalvision interview on Channel 7, insulting Sigmar, the Reikland Reavers, the Emperor, Griff Oberwald and the city of Altdorf, and then he really got going! No wonder the Emperor’s speech had a low attendance. "...low attendance. GOOD! I took note of all of this!" "Are you thinking that you'll get home alive, boy?" "Are you thinking that Borak will leave you alive, knowing that I cannot put this on the GitP BB forum?" "..." "Thanks Mr. Mastacasta!!!" Episode 5 "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late! I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!" Well, yes, I'm late... and with no interview. Oh my. Strange, I cannot see Meredith. Let's ask Doc... "Hi Doc!" "Hi Tody!" "To''b''y..." "No, I'm Doc Nutsmasher..." "..." "Everything OK Tody? Dut you dreath hard... want some Warpa-Cola?" "No, thanks... Nice T-shirt!" "A gift from my fan club! See? O RLY? YA RLY! NO WAI!" "What???" "They say it's a troll, like me!" "..." "Well, why were you running Tody?" "Just went back from Hellbug's Heroes place. I was hoping to get an interview from Brunbob... you know, they say that he had a liason with Amaterasu last season... Also they say that Orgetorix is going to retire and to start a new job as writer for children's bedtime stories and nursery rhymes..." "Cool!" "Well, we'll never know for sure, I didn't manage to see him..." "What a pity!" "Adhil will be mad... I promised her this interview..." "You will not find her. She has an headache. All of them Marauders. Nöther, Dyrac, Mödius and Oct-som'thing started working on a deast... and I went to the gym!" "A beast? Why did you not help them?" "A DEAST... a mathematic thing. Go find them in tha maze, dut de careful!" "Hi Dyrac! Hi all!" "Hi Toby! We are winning! We found a way to defeat Leriel!" "But he's not here..." "Let me explain. Nöther analyzed Leriel's data and proposed an idea... it's secret, I cannot explain you the details... so we decided to create a B.E.A.S.T. that will overcome him..." "That's fantastic? Where is it?" "Here... on paper!" "WHAT?" "The B.E.A.S.T. is a B'''uttered-cat '''E'nhanced 'A'lgorithm-based 'S'hapeshifting 'T'rap'' and its core is an algorithm... before assembling it, we are battling on a mathematic field!" "WHAT?" "Sit down... We prepared a mathematical model of Leriel. It and the B.E.A.S.T. did such fierce battle across the equation-covered table, that the our pencils kept snapping. Furious, the B.E.A.S.T. writhed and wriggled its iterated integrals beneath Leriel's polynomial blows, collapsed into an infinite series of indeterminate terms, then got back up by raising itself to the nth power, but Leriel elabored it with differentials and partial derivatives, and in the ensuing confusion the we completely lost sight of them. We went back to work and tried again from the beginning, this time unleashing our entire arsenal of tensor matrices, attacking the problem with such fervor that the very paper began to smoke. Leriel rushed forward with all his cruel coordinates and mean values, stumbled into a dark forest of roots and logarithms, had to backtrack, then encountered the B.E.A.S.T. on a field of irrational numbers, but it slid around an asymptote and hid in an n-dimensional orthogonal phase space, underwent expansion and came out, fuming factorially, and fell upon Leriel and hurt him passing sore. But Leriel, nothing daunted, put on his Markov chain mail and all his impervious parameters, took his increment to infinity and dealt the B.E.A.S.T. a truly Boolean blow, sent it reeling through an x-axis and several brackets... But the B.E.A.S.T. was prepared for this! It lowered its horns and — wham!! — the pencils flew like mad through transcendental functions and double eigentransformations, and when at last the B.E.A.S.T. closed in, Leriel was down and out!" "This is the worst headache in my life..." Episode 6 "Hi Meredith!" "Hi Toby! What a terrible mathematical hangover..." "Yes... the only one who didn't suffer was Doc... and he was the hero of last match!" "But Crow is right, Toby. His plan worked... but we lost." Adhil reach Meredith and Toby. "We are using too much energy with this Leriel stuff... we need to concentrate on the game, not on it!" "You are right, Adhil, but this could be the time for getting rid of him once for all..." "CrOw Is ToO sOfT. "I'd rather see this team bloodied and crushed into the ground in a hard-fought defeat, than see another draw.", hE sAyS. bAh! I'm ThInKiNg AbOuT a FuLl SeT oF tOrTuRe FoR tHiS sTuPiD tEaM!" "LERIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly Dyrac, Möbius, Octahemioctacron and Nöther get closer... they are bringing a strange machine. The Mad Mathemathic Trio speaks, while Nöther is writing something on a piece of paper: "KLATU! BARADA! NIKTO!" And the strange machine comes to life. It's a big cat - a huge panther, with a black fur, covered by strange mathematic symbols. The creature run toward Leriel's ghost. "FoOl! I'm A gHoSt! I dOn'T fEaR yOuR sTuPiD... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Dyrac rejoices. "It's working, Nöther! Your ectoplasmic homeomorphism on the B.E.A.S.T. claws hurted Leriel!" "Holy Hausdorff! We did it!" Leriel wails like a banshee, and he materialize a wall of swords on the panther, cutting it in pieces! But Möbius nods: "It's going as for the symulation..." The panther is cut in small pieces... but they change shape, becoming many small B.E.A.S.T.s, each covered by a different mathematic symbol. Nöther nods: "Let the eigenvalues attack as a bad conditioned matrix!" Some of the small creatures start jumping at Leriel, who materialize a full plate of armor... But wait! It was just a diversion! All the remaining creatures quickly surround Leriel, forming a circle, that with astonishing speed becomes a small wall and then a dome... "Nöther Entropy Wall!" Leriel is wailing. The dome created by the B.E.A.S.T. now is transparent - a sort of wall of force, that surround the angry ghost and prevent him to move - even if he's a ghost! Toby looks at him, and then turns to Dyrac. "WOW! You did it! How is it possible?" Dyrac smiles at Toby: "We asked Alshain to write a song about it... it's better than any mathematic explanation!" And the singer/leader of the Marauders takes a guitar: 'We don’t need no serrulation. We don't need no six re-rolls. No more coffee with Red Mushrooms. Leriel, leave the team alone. Hey, Leriel, leave the team alone! All in all you're just a great piece of a**hole. All in all you're just a great piece of a**hole. We will stop your deprecations. We will crush your phantom trolls. No dark pizzas in the lunchroom. Leriel, leave the team alone. Hey, Leriel, leave the team alone! You're a jerk and we know that you're always AWOL. You're a ghost but can't pass ''Nöther Entropy Wall! ' Episode 7 (Mid-Season Report) Soooo... Alshain here, guys. What? The terrible noise inside the gym? It's Adhil arguing with Dyrac... and with Nöther, Meredith, Tuern and Algedi. Things are not looking good. Really a mess, trust me. Well, thing's ''always a mess for us Marauders... but well, I'm just a singer with my songs... And I want to stay outside this discussion. I have the duty to read the mid-season report, so let's go on... '''Overall Coaching Effort: 3/10 Leriel is not bothering us. No more. But the effort to put him away from the team had a too high cost. We miss proper coaching. We need to find an identity, also. 3 points, just since coaching stuff reached a total of three. (Alshain takes her guitar...) All my plans fell through my hands They fell through my hands on me all my dreams It suddenly seems, it suddenly seems Empty... Overall Offence: 1/10 Dyrac, you're mad as a mad hatter... what do you think? That you're an hero? **I'm the one, everybody's waited for (waited for) Scream for me, a romantic modern hero (hero) They need a hero, somebody they can look up to ** I'm a super hero (you're a super hero) I'm a super hero (you're a super hero) I'm a super hero (you're a super hero) The hero of today, yay! ** Everyone wishes they could be like me (like you) Smart and cool, handsome, wealthy and so sexy (sexy) They need a hero, somebody who is a just like me... Overall Defence: 3/10 Again, three is just the number of the Entropy Wall team members. They are good, they are really good, but that's not enough to stop fast elves or stunty skinks. Do you believe in block after dodge I can feel something inside me say I really don't think you're strong enough, No... '' '''Overall Pizza Good Taste: 10/10' Whoa-oa-oa! They feel good, I knew that they would, now They feel good, I knew that they would, now So good, so good, I ate them with you... Overall Mathematic Effort: 8/10 In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways Our asymptotes no longer out of phase, We shall encounter, counting, face to face. I'll grant thee random access to my heart, Thou'lt tell me all the constants of thy love; And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove, And in our bound partition never part. For what did Cauchy know, or Christoffel, Or Fourier, or any Boole or Euler, Wielding their compasses, their pens and rulers, Of thy supernal sinusoidal spell? '' '''Overall Madness: 10/10' At breakfast I'm tweeting. I'm tweeting while I'm eating. Cause everything I ever do, I want the world to see it too! I'm surfing. I'm typing, and also I am Skyping. So who are you to tell us no? I'm putting this on Vimeoooooo! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soAk3F0wX9s Category:Journals